Ever since Taylor Swift released “22” back in 2012 I’ve been waiting for the moment I, Logan Adams, turn 22. Seven years later that day is here… well in a few weeks it’ll be here. 21 has been a year to say the least, a lot has happened! Mostly good, the only “negative” side effects of my year have been my anxiety and panic attacks but we’ll get into that another time!
Usually each year I reflect on what I learned in the last year. Most people do the “21 Things I Learned At 21” for whatever age they are ut truthfully I did not learn 21 things this year that are worth sharing! Instead I’m going to share a few things that I have learned and believe that they’ll inspire!
The number one thing that I took from this year was to call my family and friends often. I had a very bad panic attack one day that was triggered by me not seeing my grandma as much as I should. We were out at lunch and next thing I know I’m in the bathroom crying, trying to stop my shaking and grasp a breath. Luckily my grandma, grandpa and dad were there to talk me through it all. I’ve had many panic attacks in my life but this one had an impact. I realized how much it hurt me not talking to and seeing my family and friends. Ever since I’ve been reaching out more, calling more, making more plans and it’s helped me a lot! Side note, another thing I learned is to reach out! If you need help, reach out for help.
While on the topic of my anxiety and panic attacks when I have a bad episode I tend to isolate myself for hours, even days. It grew quite common for me and I never realized how bad it actually was. I’d sleep in until I had to go to work, go to work, come home and lay in bed until I fall asleep… and repeat! Not healthy! Though I still feel like I isolate myself I’ve started coming out of my room, driving places just to get out of the house, working out and I’m so proud of myself! As Taylor Swift said, “I’m doing better than I ever was.”
Now, here comes the financial talk. God knows we all need it! I am still no pro but I’m trying my best to learn how to save money. I’m pretty good at saving/budgeting for my rent and bills but when it comes to saving for emergency funds… that’s where the struggle begins. I’ve started putting away any cash I receive and $50-$200 per paycheck depending on how much I get on the paycheck. I’m pretty proud of myself though! It may not be a lot now but overtime my savings will be a thick stack of cash and I will be so thankful.
Weighing myself was a huge issue this year. I’d weigh myself every morning. I gained a good 30-40 pounds over the past year and though I didn’t accept it at first now I just tell myself there’s more to love! Before making the decision to love myself I’d spend nights crying, trying to do diets that don’t work, restricting foods, whatever it took to lose the excess weight I tried to do. The worst part of it all is that I’d binge when I got home which caused my nights spent crying in my room. Binging is still something that I find hard to talk about, honestly eating in general is hard to talk about but I’m growing more comfortable with the topic day by day. One day I’ll be able to talk about it, it’s a growing experience! Thankfully I never stuck to anything I tried and came to the realization that I need to love myself to be okay with myself. God bless the broken road that lead me straight to self love!
A huge learning experience from this year was to prioritize myself. I found myself in friendships that weren’t healthy and didn’t benefit me. I grew and the people around me hadn’t yet. I was happier in my life surrounded by people that brought me down. I recognized the fact that the negativity I surrounded myself with was causing me to be negative also. It’s okay to let things and people go. At the end of the day the only person you have for the whole of your life is yourself. Prioritize yourself and make yourself happy and healthy.